Over-Responsibility Tried It—But I Let That Die

I almost sent the “what dates work for you?” email. 
Almost.

Because I had seven beautiful souls say yes to the invitation to
 Reflect on What I Let Die Episode 1 together,
 then tend to some of our own grief inside a circle I’ll hold with care.

Seven “yeses” felt so generous.
 So I wanted to give that same generosity back—by giving options.
 Crowdsourcing a date... creating a li'l poll... doing what I could to make it easy for them to show up.

But then I paused. 
Because I know that moment. 
That quiet, almost holy moment when my body says: 
“Ms. Akilah, are we doing this out of care, or are we slidin' back into over-responsibility, Ma'ammmmm?”
Whew.

So I did what I often have to do:
I let something die.
 In this case, it was the idea that being accommodating = being caring. 
It was the idea that if everyone couldn’t come, it wouldn’t be enough. ⚰️

And from that grief literacy lens I’ve been living out loud,
 I remembered: 
The work is not in trying to get it right for everybody.
 The work is in trusting the few.
 Letting it be small, imperfect, and deeply meaningful. 🤍

So I chose the date.
 The one that fits my rhythm. The one I can show up to with presence and tenderness. 
🫀

And whoever can come… will come.
 And whoever can’t… will get another chance.

This is the grief work, too: Letting go of the pressure to host a perfect thing.Letting in the ease of just doing the next true thing.

So yeah, I chose the date myself.
 And (mostly) I feel good about that.